Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Great Blog From Netiquette IQ - Over 50 Ways To Say You;re Fired!

51 Euphemisms for 'You're Fired'
Updated April 08, 2017
A euphemism is a seemingly nice or polite way of expressing a harsh or unpleasant truth. In the Oxford Dictionary of Euphemisms (2007), R.W. Holder observes that euphemism is often "the language of evasion, hypocrisy, prudery, and deceit." To test that observation, consider these 51 alternative ways of saying "You're fired." 
Dan Foreman: Guys, I feel very terrible about what I'm about to say. But I'm afraid you're both being let go.
Lou: Let go? What does that mean?
Dan Foreman: It means you're being fired, Louie.
(Dennis Quaid and Kevin Chapman in the movie In Good Company, 2004)
Throughout much of the world, unemployment remains a problem. Yet of all those people who have lost their jobs, few were ever told, "You're fired."
Apparently, those day-long seminars in workplace sensitivity have paid off: "firing" is now as outdated as a defined-benefit pension plan. In its place is a brightly colored file folder filled with smiley-faced euphemisms.
True, a few of the terms sound rather dour and legalistic ("involuntary separation," for example, and "workforce imbalance correction"). A few others are simply perplexing ("decruit," "lateralize," "waive"). But many sound as cheery as a year-end bonus: "constructive discharge," "career alternative enhancement," and—no kidding—"free up for the future."
"You're not losing a job," these expressions seem to be saying. "You're regaining a life."
Euphemisms for Job Termination
Here, according to management guides and personnel documents found at a host of online human resources sites, are 51 bona fide euphemisms for job termination.
  1. career alternative enhancement
  2. career change opportunity
  3. career transition
  4. constructive discharge
  5. constructive dismissal
  6. decline a contract extension
  7. decruit
  8. defund
  9. dehire
  10. de-select
  11. destaff
  12. discharge
  13. discontinue
  14. downscale
  15. downsize
  16. early retirement opportunity
  17. employee transition
  18. end of a trial period
  19. excessing
  20. free up for the future
  1. indefinite idling
  2. involuntary separation
  3. lateralize
  4. let go
  5. make internal efficiencies
  6. make redundant
  7. manage down
  8. negotiate a departure
  9. outplace
  10. outsource
  11. personnel realignment
  12. personnel surplus reduction
  13. rationalize the workforce
  14. reduce headcount
  15. reduce in force (or riffing)
  16. re-engineer the staff
  17. release
  18. relieve of duties
  19. reorganize (or re-org)
  20. reshuffle
  21. restructure
  22. retrench
  23. rightsize
  24. select out
  25. separate
  26. skill-mix adjustment
  27. streamline
  28. surplus
  29. unassign
  30. waive
  31. workforce imbalance correction
Forget those condescending reminders that you're now free to "pursue other interests" and "spend more time with the family." As anyone who has ever lost a job is keenly aware, euphemisms such as these rarely achieve their goal of softening the blow. The terms that we use for getting fired tend to be dysphemisms: sacked, dumped, bounced out, canned, axed, eighty-sixed, and given the old heave-ho.
   Good Netiquette
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