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The 5 Annoying Emails Everyone Gets And How To Respond To Them
By Jane Porter via FastCompany
1. The
reply-all explosion
You leave your desk for a cup of
coffee, come back, and find an email chain 20-deep with responses at the top of
your inbox. There's no turning back once the dunce who forgot to BCC a giant
group of people hits "send." "Once you're in that nightmare, you
just have to wait until the agony dies down," says Peggy Duncan, founder of
the Digital Breakthroughs Institute.
Still, there are things you can do to
minimize the irritation. You can ask the person who first reached out to call a
full-stop on the email by BCC-ing the group. Or you can simply find ways to
keep the messages out of your inbox. Use the "mute"
button in Gmail, found under the "More" tab to hide future messages
in the chain. Microsoft Outlook has a similar feature under its
"Home" tab called "ignore."
2. The
unschedulable meeting
Sadly, some reply-all chains just can't
be ignored, like the ones your boss sends to set up a meeting. Just when you
think you've finally arrived at the perfect time when everyone can make it,
Suzie comes back from lunch and announces she's out of town that day and the
whole deluge starts all over again.
Make a Doodle poll. It may seem too type-A for your taste, but
embedding a poll that lets everyone in the email easily track when each person
is available will make things easier for the group. Plus it's free.
3. The mean email you weren't supposed to see
Finding yourself on the receiving end
of an email you weren't supposed to see is a tricky situation. Sometimes you
can laugh it off, but when nasty words are flying, what do you do?
"I advise my clients to just ignore it," says Duncan. "If it's malicious, you can't ignore it, but if it's petty, it's just not worth your time."
"I advise my clients to just ignore it," says Duncan. "If it's malicious, you can't ignore it, but if it's petty, it's just not worth your time."
Say the exchange is downright mean and
you can't find it in you to ignore. Don't rattle off an angry email you might
regret later. Pick up the phone. "People will craft their responses. With
the phone they aren’t expecting it and you get a more organic answer from
them," says Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of Etiquette Expert. If
you're upset about something, let the person you're having a conversation with
hear your voice. And if you've accidentally discovered that person is a major
jerk, maybe it's time to rethink your relationship.
4. The missing
information email
There's nothing like a short and sweet
email that gets right to the point, but sometimes you get a short email that's
ignored what you asked altogether. "A lot of times people are on their smartphone,
hitting 'reply' under the table during a meeting," says Duncan. When you
write back, be clear in your subject line that you need more info. Bullet-point
your questions and give a specific timeframe for when you need a response.
"You're going to have to go back until you get what you need," she
says.
5. The passive
aggressive email
There are so many ways to be passive
aggressive by email: simply ignoring a message, CC-ing the boss, adding smiley
faces or exclamation marks as a way to mask anger. People writing a
passive-aggressive email are working hard to hide the fact that they're angry,
even if their sour attitude comes across loud and clear.
Match someone's passive-aggressive tone
with your own and you're asking for it. Passive-aggressive people don't know
how to appropriately express their anger, but that doesn't mean you want to
play their game. "Don’t give someone the power to turn you into the type
of person you don’t like to be," writes Preston Ni, author of the book How to
Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People in Psychology Today.
Overall the best way to deal with
annoying email is to be direct. You can't change someone who has communication
problems, but you can avoid getting mixed into their mess. Keep your emails
direct and to the point. Don't let emotions into the equation. And whatever you
do, don't take it personally. It's just email.
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In addition to this blog, I have authored the premiere book on Netiquette, "Netiquette IQ - A Comprehensive Guide to Improve, Enhance and Add Power to Your Email". You can view my profile, reviews of the book and content excerpts at:
www.amazon.com/author/paulbabicki
If you would like to listen to experts in all aspects of Netiquette and communication, try my radio show on BlogtalkRadio and an online newsletter via paper.li.I have established Netiquette discussion groups with Linkedin and Yahoo. I am also a member of the International Business Etiquette and Protocol Group and Minding Manners among others. I regularly consult for the Gerson Lehrman Group, a worldwide network of subject matter experts and I have been contributing to the blogs Everything Email and emailmonday . My work has appeared in numerous publications and I have presented to groups such as The Breakfast Club of NJ Rider University and PSG of Mercer County New Jersey.
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In addition to this blog, I have authored the premiere book on Netiquette, "Netiquette IQ - A Comprehensive Guide to Improve, Enhance and Add Power to Your Email". You can view my profile, reviews of the book and content excerpts at:
www.amazon.com/author/paulbabicki
If you would like to listen to experts in all aspects of Netiquette and communication, try my radio show on BlogtalkRadio and an online newsletter via paper.li.I have established Netiquette discussion groups with Linkedin and Yahoo. I am also a member of the International Business Etiquette and Protocol Group and Minding Manners among others. I regularly consult for the Gerson Lehrman Group, a worldwide network of subject matter experts and I have been contributing to the blogs Everything Email and emailmonday . My work has appeared in numerous publications and I have presented to groups such as The Breakfast Club of NJ Rider University and PSG of Mercer County New Jersey.
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