The
Etiquette Secrets of Proper Texting
Apr 30, 2019
via townandcountrymagazine/com
Note: for more of this type of information, see my books below
The keys to mastering digital
decorum and other modern manners dilemmas.
Michael Stillwell
From dating in the digital world to
crashing at a friend's place while you search for an apartment, to the nuances
of saving for retirement, the modern world poses etiquette quandaries that
Emily Post could never have dreamed of. Which is why writer, illustrator, and Town & Country contributor
Sarah Solomon set out to address these conundrums and dozens of other problems
of modern propriety in her new book, Guac Is Extra But So Am I: The
Reluctant Adult's Handbook. The following excerpt explains the
subtle art of navigating text conversations with grace and poise.
Humans are communicative by nature.
We let each other know when we’re happy, sad, miss them, or are a few drinks
deep past midnight and on our way over in an Uber. The issue with always
putting it in writing is that you can’t gauge sarcasm, mood, and tonality from
a smattering of words hastily punched onto a screen.
The best you can do is consider your
audience whenever you’re texting with them, and converse in a way they’re
comfortable with. Whether that’s the Queen’s English, emojis, memes, or nudes,
is your burden and data plan to bear.
A few things to keep in mind:
Michael
Stillwell
Use
full sentences with older folks
Unless they’re intent on being the
“cool mom” and already know all the abbreviations, lmao.
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Turn
off your notification sounds
We get it, you have friends. We
don’t need to hear dinging or see a light every millisecond because of the
group chat.
Never
text “k” as a response
“K” is the universal letter that
insinuates you’re mad or tired of the recipient’s inane stories. Be the better
person and give them the extra letter of instant gratification. Add the O, it
may be one of the few times you can deliver it anyway.
Prevent
yourself from intentionally waiting days to text back
Yes, even if the other party is
doing it to you. The person you’re talking to is either playing head games,
honestly forgetful, or trying to send a message. If it’s the latter, they
should hopefully be more upfront with you, but actions speak louder than words.
Turn
off your text previews
You don’t know when someone else
will be glancing at your phone. You don’t want them to see snippets of your
more intimate conversations.
Don’t
send explicit photos unless they’re asked for
You never know how many people and
group chats will get access to your pics. Make sure you know the person super
well before you send anything.
Always
replying with emojis makes you look like an idiot
Expressing real, layered, and varied
emotions through words is a valuable skill. It may be easier for you to escape
the gravity of certain conversations by letting your answers be loosely
interpreted with a string of cartoon martini glasses and pills, but that’s no
way to go through life.
Reply
in a similar manner
If they wrote two words, don’t
respond with a novel. Also give them a chance to answer—a text conversation
requires at least two people. Don’t double or triple text unless you know them
or need to get relevant, timely info across. A ton of unprompted texting
without any reciprocity will make you look batshit crazy. I should know!
Know
when to end the conversation
If the paragraphs won’t stop coming
or both of you are too polite to end the conversation, either just stop
responding at a neutral point or say you’re going to bed or are in a meeting.
Chances are the other party will be grateful you’re signing off as well.