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27
Things That Have Been Ruined by the Internet
by
Jenna
Mullins Thu., Jan. 15, 2015 7:00 AM PST from eonline.com
The Internet is a magical entity. It
has given us cat videos, Google, GIFs. The ability to connect with people,
places and things from across the world. The Internet has enriched our lives in
so many ways.
And yet, it's constantly on the
verge of destroying humanity.
But still. Cat videos are great!
Inspired by this reddit thread, here
are all the things the Internet has effectively ruined for good:
1. Eating fast food in ignorant
bliss
Now that fast food establishments
post nutritional value online, we can no longer ingest that Bacon Ultimate
Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box while thinking: "this can't be more than
300 calories, right?" Now we know how much we're eating when we hit the
drive-thru, and that makes us sad. We still eat these terrible things, don't
get us wrong. But still. We don't have to know how much sodium we're ingesting.
Just let us live.
2. Purchasing tickets to events
"Why the hell do some venues
allow for 99 tickets to be purchased at once?"—moreschwab
3. Being able to repeat outfits with
no one noticing
That yellow dress is dope. Too bad
everyone knows you wore it to a baby shower the weekend before you wore it to
your friend's wedding.
4. Encyclopedia sales
Kids today will never know
what it's like to write a paper using one of these bad boys.
5. Dating
There is no mystery to dating
anymore. You can find out everything you need to know about the person you're
about to meet for drinks. Sometimes that's a good thing, but where's the fun in
discovering everything through Facebook?! And how many of you have vetoed
someone based on their tweets? What if they were actually amazing people but
you never gave them the chance? Dating is hard enough without the Internet.
6. Trivia nights
Trivia nights at your local bar used
to be the best night of the week. And it still can be, but too many people
cheat with their smart phones, so it's mostly about who can cheat the best.
7. Having a crush
Long gone are the days where you sit
by a window, stare into the night sky and wonder what your crush is doing at
that very moment. You know exactly what he's doing, because he just checked in
at Target on Facebook. Plus, he Instagrammed a selfie so he could show off the
"sweet new sunglasses" he bought. And then he tweeted that he was
going to hit up Payless. So, yeah. You always know where your crush is and what
he's doing.
8. The urge to leave the house
You can get stuff delivered through
the Internet, watch whatever you want through the Internet and you can talk to
whoever you want through the Internet. Who needs fresh air?
9. Exciting life milestones
When your Facebook is splashed with
photo album after photo album of your friend's kid going to the park (all the
damn photos are the same!), then you begin to dread birth and engagement
announcements on Facebook.
10. Thinking for yourself
Sad, but true. Why think for
yourself when you have millions of people online who can tell you what you
should be saying and thinking?
11. Making any mistake ever
Heaven forbid you use improper
grammar while leaving a comment in an article. It doesn't matter if your
opinion is the most well thought-out and perfectly researched remark ever. If
you accidentally say "their" instead of "there," the trolls
will automatically deem you worthless. They are ruthless and relentless and
they prey on any mistake, big or small.
12. Movies and TV shows
Spoilers will get ya. Every time.
And then there are those people who love to debate why this TV show or that
movie is the most terrible thing ever.
13. Silly debates among
friends
Remember when you used to argue with
your crew about how Carol from Friends was played by a different actress in the
pilot episode? If no one had the tape handy, that argument could have lasted
for hours. Now, it's just quick Google search on a smartphone and you're done.
14. Childhood innocence
It's a rule of the Internet: If it
exists, there is porn of it. So you loved Ferngully growing up? Well, if you
search the right websites, you will definitely have that movie and your
childhood ruined forever.
15. High school
We do not know how kids today
navigate the awkward years of high school. Everything is documented. Plus, kids
don't just bully each other in person anymore. Now there's cyber bullying,
which as we all unfortunately know can lead to truly terrible situations.
16. Class reunions
What's the point? Thanks to
Facebook, "we know who has kids, where people have moved to, and how fat
everyone has gotten."—DarrenEdwards
17. Doing harmless, stupid stuff
AKA being young and dumb. Before the
Internet, you could do stuff like make out with a stranger or jump off a roof
into the pool and the only proof anyone would have is a story. Now everything
is filmed or photographed, and it can go on the Internet in the blink of an
eye. Before, your mom or boss or friends would have no idea you fell and got a
tampon stuck up your nose. Now, everyone will know.
18. Bookstores
R.I.P. Borders.
19. Video rental stores
R.I.P. return slots.
20 . The grand tradition of shopping
at the mall
Except for trying on clothes to see
how they fit, what do you really need malls for
anymore? It used to be a mecca for teenagers to flock to after school to just,
you know, "chill." Now, you can order your penis-shaped pasta from
Spencer's website.
21. Privacy
Before the Internet, facts about
yourself would only be known by friends you deemed worthy. Now, people are
willingly putting info about their bowel movements on Twitter.
22. Patience
"By dint of having everything
we need online in a matter of microseconds, the internet generation is becoming
allergic to waiting."—kodongo
23. Concerts
Half the people aren't even
watching; they're recording it to upload to YouTube later.
24. Agreeing to disagree
When you argue online, there is no
such thing as accepting that people have different opinions,
also known as "agreeing to disagree." If someone thinks they are
right, then according to the person you are arguing with, you are just a
"pig-headed ass who is the stupidest person in the world."
25. Simple skills everyone should
know
Like reading a map. Do
people know how to do that anymore? We fear for the day when kids just forget
what books are altogether.
26. Writing letters
Do high school kids still pass notes
that are intricately folded and written in sparkly gel pens? No? And since
writing letters is now a lost art, what in the hell did we learn cursive for?!
27. Going on the Internet
Somehow, the Internet has ruined the
Internet.
What do you think the Internet has
ruined forever?
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